It’s mad because most of the time I blame her when I know it’s his fault & my anger is misdirected. my husband can not stop drinking You have to be willing to help yourself if you can’t help him. ” I wouldn’t be Googling how to not hate my husband and reading insulting articles such as this. Um at first it was so bad he used throw up, get bipolar you know he be angry yelling at me, then he get sad .. I can no longer handle this and am beginning to become very angry and very physically abusive to him. He didn’t say I had to look just like I did but I needed to be thin. Unfortunately his body cant handle beer he gets very verbally abusive calls me names, yells ect in front the kids … I do wanna leave but i know theres good in him but he always breaks.. That means within a month of me forgiving him he had picked up another whore. Before I got pregnant I had been in pain killers for back injury I got in the army and he stole them from me and got addicted mixing them with alcohol. It’s getting pretty ugly and I’m starting to ask myself of there’s a stranger that will love my children ( our children ) more than their own father? It’s the younger children he never wants to spend time with. I’m not home remedies for scalp psoriasis the type of person who gets that “warm fuzzy I look after my family well” , it’s more resentment that I had to do it and now get less time to do what I want.. He is trying sometimes I do feel he could try harder. I’m making this year about me & putting his kids firmly in his lap when I want to do something. He blows tons of money on online gaming, his personal hygiene is horrible, he lies constantly and yells at kids. He does nothing to me and stands there and lets me hit him. Empower yourself. In the time since Thanksgiving and Christmas my husband played upon my emotions telling me that he and his lover were going to stop having their affair because it wrong. Idk whst do we have no insurance or alot money to send him get help im at a loss he is will get help tho.. My issue is that I feel he’s never there for out children, ages 6 and 2 then a teenager from previous marriage but he’s not the issue he doesn’t mind doing for him. I could not believe my ears and I told him that if he want to eff his lover that was ok but it wasn’t going to be while he lived here. He handles mortgage, gas and electric and insurance. All my good years.. What do I do? Life is short, you have spent a long time with your husband and you have a daughter. Referring your loved one to an alcohol or drug rehab program is a hard but necessary step to take if you and your mutual friends have come together and determined there is indeed a problem. Wheb we first got together I was 22 and him 34.. Im just stuck.. I was an emotional wreck and believed him the first time. He has lately been sneaking out of our house at 11:00 p. I appreciate your attempt to deal with the matter by looking at yourself first as that’s really the only person you can change however beware as this can lead to constant self searching which leaves one unfulfilled. Yeh I no longer give a crap about housework and family life coz of my husband. I am overweight and he told me that if I was to lose the weight and be how I was when we first moved to our home in 2000 that he would stay. I was working out, bought new clothes and gave him more attention than ever before. I my husband can not stop drinking just found out my husband is having an affair with a gal half my age. It also possibly ignores personality disorders such as narcissism, passive-aggressiveness etc. We have been very happy together because although he had had been cheating on me, he treat me and the family well. In Nov 2013 a man called my house and told me that his wife and my husband have been having an affair since July of 2013. He has just taken you for granted probably he is also a MCP. Sometimes he blames me for him drinking .. Good LORD, if my only problem with my husband my husband can not stop drinking was him not doing the dishes then me coming to the realization that “I can just do the dishes & decompress!! I have told him and he knows that excessive stress can lead me to have a heart attack but he is so heartless at this point. Talking to your friend or family member about his or her alcohol use can be very difficult, as established, so it’s important not to aggravate the problem or insist that he or she stop drinking altogether. Now I know the truth so I feel betrayed, hurted and devasted. I will always be suspicious of him when he goes out without me now. I have joined a gym & I’m taking a few classes. Im just so so over it. I think this is very sweet. And returning around 1:30 have little meetings with his whore. His idea of spending time with them is having a card night and having them there while he has fun with his buddies, they call it harmless fun. We went to our son and DIL house with his mother and he and his mother stood in their apt and told us how lucky my husband was to have me forgive him. He sneaks up and plays video games all night and then spends the whole next day whining about being tired. I despise my husband he’s a high blood pressure natural remedies lazy selfish slob. He’s in the army and on leave to “help out” he sits on his butt all day not picking up any slack. Honestly, this post should be called, “How to not be annoyed at your husband when you weren’t REALLY annoyed with him in the first place. Is that so terrible?? He says I have no where to go so having compassion I have allowed him to stay in our home. But he thinks beer is his back bone it will make evrything better go away .. My story is not unusual. We have 4 boys and I’m 38 weeks pregnant with finally a girl. I am a 54 year old woman who has been married to my husband for 24 years but together with him for 34. I was in total shock and was angry but I decided I believe (too early) to forgive him and let him come home. I’m so afraid my daughter will find attention from another man when she grows up 12 yrs from now. I was devastated to say the least and because this was right before Thanksgiving I went to my sons. I love him and this family too much to get a divorce to destroy this family. Classes. Well now we have 2 kids 14 month old an a 3 month old .. Last summer he was away with the army and he got a tinder account and had an my husband can not stop drinking affair with a 19 year old while I was home with our 4 boys the oldest being 13 only 6 years younger then his slut, I’m sure there were more too. I hate him with a passion and so do my kids. My thing is that I do a little of everything just to name a few cleaning my husband can not stop drinking dishes, my son puts them away (sometimes) cleaning bathrooms, restocking household cleaning items financially and literally and even the help with sciatica nerve pain “handy man” like filling holes then sanding and painting walls, something I like doing because I’m obsessed with paint but it never gets done right because I’m really short even with a roller extender and our only ladder is really tall and I’m a little scared of it and can’t carry it I’m from garage to house. Damn. I am trying really hard to get my own life outside of his. I don’t want to be a family oriented house proud female.. I’d rather look good and my bathroom look trashed, that have a spotless bathroom but walk down the street looking “bleh”.. I am no longer sitting pretty waiting on my man it my way or the highway. Relationships are so boring, I used to think I wanted this and now I’ve got it all I want is to be single again. The thing that hurts is that he’s ready to take the kids for family outings when it involves meeting up with his parents or having a family get together with his side of the family. You feel like he is and always has been in control of the relationship and it makes you feel helpless. He was really sexy, best root ever, smelt awesome, just so in his prime, if that makes sense.. I know you want to help but by staying with him you’re only helping him get worst and he’ll take you down with him. Right before XMAS he came back and played me again. I have never confronted her but still feel like ripping her head off. He has secret friends online and had a porn subscription where he paid to webcam. ” I would never kill myself. Since then he has been trying to play me and I am no longer playing his game. I really need help my brother has been drinking for years his long time gf left and it’s just been getting worse he is now with my friend they have a baby together and 2 other kids from his last marriage he’s never there for his kids he fights with his girlfriend all the time and is never sober he’s now missing work all the time and beng drinking all day and night he very verbally abusive towards her in front of the kids she can’t leave because she don’t want to leave the kids behind and he won’t let her take the two oldest they never have food in the house and he spends all the money on alcohol I am afraid he’s going to loss his job and they are going to be homeless he’s never sober long enough for u to even have a conversation with him about it I know he won’t go to rehab also she can’t work and he’s the only one working right now so they won’t have a way to pay bills if he gos to rehab I feel bad and don’t know what to do I am the only one he will listen to but I have tryed to to talk to him and it don’t work I don’t know what to do anymore please help Hi my boyfriend of 4 years drinks.. However he still lives in our home and I have told him that it is too hard for him to live there because he is a constant reminder of what he did. I want to add that I think he is acting like a teenager and is doing crystal meth. He’s almost 40 and it makes me feel old to be with him, I’m still attractive and herbal capsules for weight loss have good body and lots of guys are interested but no.. I just wish he would leave me the fuk alone and allow me to have a little bit of enjoyment in life. I know it isn’t right and I want to enroll in anger mgmt. He won’t even pick up after himself all his dirty clothes on the floor, trash never makes it to the can. Also I pay the smaller bills water, groceries and sometimes cable bills. I just want this monster out of my life WHY, oh WHY is the word “hate” used here? I just won’t be sorry when that day comes .. He harass me when I put on makeup, when I look in the mirror, everything he nags and bugs and annoys me. I believed him and then he left in January and then by that time I was coming out of my fog and I played him. Michelle, I totally understand where your coming from. I wish he’d go back to work, I’m doing more with him here. I try to care, but I dont.. He surely loves you, and he believes that you love him, and as you said he is serious in his profession. You are angry and hurt because you knew all of that time that you were too good for him but you settled and in the end he was the one who left you. My problem is kind of different, instead of me focusing on the housework he doesn’t help with because he actually does help with some stuff like laundry lots of laundry even though he never folds or puts away he tries and a little on cleaning up toys after the kids. I tried to do i have liver damage play good housewife and do everything for him and kids but it got me nowhere I got nothing in return.. Which seems to be the sort of chick he wants me to be.. But I kinda suspect I will never get over it. First of all, You love your Husband, You have been excusing him plenty of times because you don’t have any option but love him. You have to have patience in balancing your relationship. I’m sorry that I dont wanna hear his complaining about work.. I saw their texts they called each other husband and wife. Don’t worry just continue with your patience. I don’t want to have sex with the same guy I’ve been with for 5 years.. M. His fever will cool and he will be back to his normal personality as he used to be before. He was so angry that I played him and said how dare I do those things to him. Now I’m 27 and he’s 39 and he’s like an old grouch who cares about boring shit like washing, lawn and garden crap, etc etc.. I bet the majority of women that are looking for ways to overcome “hating” their husbands are doing so to try and save a marriage. In June of 2013 I found out he had been having an affair since January 2013. I would like to just put in a few words. I have 3 abnormal children and2 grandchilren. We stop intimating since 4 years ago but his excuse was he was getting old and not interested in sex. He left again two weeks later. He took everything from me .. This my husband can not stop drinking year is my time, with or without him. I think starting afresh will lose the gains you have why are kidney beans called kidney beans invested in this relationship. Please help me. The last thing you want to natural ways to improve prostate health do is to be a nag. But thanks to a good Christian upbringing and the sounds of my grandmother telling me I hooked my wagon to that horse. You feel betrayed not only by him but by yourself because you ignored your intuition and put him over yourself. Do you know how serious of a word that is?? I don’t want to serve a man,.. Some are so concerned about their house being immaculate, but still allow themselves to look frumpy.. My trust … my faith. It’s a very difficult loving an addict, I understand what you’re going through and feel your pain and in no way am I trying to make you feel bad but the fact is you’re addicted to getting him better at this point. I wish I was with someone closer to my age now.. He did almost go a year with out drinking .. I either want passionate hot butterflys sex or nothing at all.. We got in a fight and the police removed him. I complain all the time but I wait till it builds up then hit him with it all at once but it comes up at least once a month and lately every week. My youngest is in behavioral class and speech that I take him to and I just feel like a single parent and him providing the home for us to live in. Also he takes them to another friend home to do more relaxing with friend while friends wife’s tends to our kids. Please help me to live with him until our divorce. Whenever he comes home I feel like rolling my eyes coz he’s gunna ask what I’m up to on the computer, who that text message is from.. I have to sit here and waste what’s left of my youth with him nagging and being possessive and just annoying the crap out of me.. Big mistake.. I don’t even notice when he mows the lawn, coz I just don’t care, I’m not interested.. I am so happy to hear so many comments from women’s past experience. Yes my interment is more interesting! The thing is I have decided to just be as selfish as he has been in the past. He refuses to move out and when I ask him to he calls me names and belittles me. The whole until death u do part thing… :( I just read your post on the web site, “How I stopped hating my Husband”. Having loved him for so long I started to do what he said. Not that it’s easy I still see her at the school gates. Because at the end of the day, if he keeps drinking as much as you say, he’s going to die from this and you shouldn’t be the one that cleans up the mess he leaves behind. He is unemployed right now and I am on disability because I have how does asthma affect the body Congestive heart failure. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to spend time with our kids and give them attention. I confront him and he says he will end it, but do you think I can trust him to do so?